The Webmasters Daemons
30 Nov 2007I had this crazy idea back at the beginning of 2001. I wrote it down in a text file one morning and forgot most of it.
Musical Theme:
The music from “the Magician’s Appretiace” from Fantasia
Characters:
- apache – hard working httpd daemon, works at a Penguin booth (on linux). Maybe an indian with an apache feather in his hat?
- mysql – apache’s coworker, hands him the information that he hands to the user. Hands him a bucket of info, apache then gives it to the user.
- slashdot.org – you remember when the brooms became a thousand fold in “the Magician’s Appretiace”? * user (or rather the users packets) – come to apache to get info. (stick figures with buckets?)
Events:
We show the webmaster working at his computer (rl). click on his computer his packets are then shown handing info (buckets) to apache, who passes it on to mysql, who pours in to the feeding pool that then starts to drip down to the bucket pool. Then the webmaster at his computer nods off and goes to sleep….
you see a rack behind them… the lights that we can see on the rack go along with the tempo… back to virtual world… a users packets come buy every so often (with music and gets data), apache and mysql work on it and do it with great flourish. They start to get board waiting for users to come…. so the write something down and put it in a bucket and it turns to another color water. both the daemons pore the bucket into their feeding pool and the water turns that color.
the first user who comes along looks at the water when he gets it and drinks…. and is shocked, he starts carrying it to another booth (website) and the daemon there takes the bucket and emptys it into another pool…. (rw: you see rusty or someone look at the their screen and their jaw drops open). The other apache server gets an order and pours the water into their feeding pool… all of sudden all the users coming by start walking to our booth.
the daemons see the users coming and congratulate each other…. the happly fill the users buckets. and see more coming.
one of the users packets go to /. where the fill buckets at ten and a time with jetsprays, and soon as they have the info all the users start coming towards our two daemons.
eventually the webmaster is awoken by the rack lights which are going crazy … sees his bandwidth going thru the roof…. he makes the users stop some how.